Don't punch babies when you are angry
Don't punch babies when you are angry
A quick guide on how to complain less
Yes. I get it. Bad things happen, and people like to complain when bad things happen.
That's part of the reason why I had to tell one of my friends to stop introducing me whenever he gets a new girlfriend! Because they all end up coming to me to complain about that particular friend (I'm looking at you, John).
I understand that bottling up our negative emotions is unhealthy, but do we really need to complain?
Not really.
Because there are better ways to deal with our frustrations and anger like punching a little baby on the playground who can barely walk... I'm joking, of course.
The biggest thing I don't like about complaining is that it's a surefire way to bring down the mood of those around us.
We usually only complain to people that care about us, which means that we end up making ourselves feel a little better by making people, who ACTUALLY like us, feel a little crappier. Doesn't that sound kind of selfish? Yes.
Let's talk about healthier ways to process our frustration and other negative emotions.
1. Journal: Write about your frustrations and negative emotions for 5 minutes. It will help you process your thoughts and make you feel less overwhelmed.
2. Exercise: Go for a run, or dance, or do some yoga, etc. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins. These are "feel good" chemicals that reduce stress and improve your mood.
3. Creative expressions: Draw, sing, or play a musical instrument. Turn your negative into creative energy.
4. Talk to a trusted friend or family member: Share your feelings with someone you trust, but don't complain!
How do we talk to our friends about our negative emotions without complaining?
Well, complaining is when you blame other people or situations without trying to fix the problem. For example, if you say, "I hate my boss. My job sucks. Why does everything bad always happen to me?!" That's just complaining.
When you go to your friend talk about your negative experiences, don't complain. Instead, try to focus on your feelings and what you need. Say something like, "I felt frustrated about what's happening at my job, and I don't know what to do. Can you give me some advice or just listen for a bit?"
See the difference? In the first example, you're simply complaining, and it doesn't lead to anything helpful. But in the second example, you're sharing your feelings and looking for support or ideas to improve the situation.
Also, choose the right friend to talk to — someone who is supportive and understanding. Don't talk to friends who will end up complaining with you or friends who don't take your feelings seriously.
Remember, sharing feelings is normal (even for dudes), and it can make your friendship a lot stronger.
If you liked today’s email or the ugly picture I drew in the beginning, then please leave a comment:
As always, thanks for reading!
-George 🐙